Red vs Blue Kingdom Hearts
by MelodiousNocturneGirl
Summary: Red vs. Blue and Kingdom Hearts...what more could you ask for? It's the PSA's only though...i'm not that obsessed. Rating will go up if you know Halo...
1. You Know What We Mean

Organization XIII as…

Organization XIII as….

Red Vs. Blue!

You Know What We Mean

Luxord: Hey Everyone! You know, it's this time of year when our thoughts turn to our family and our friends.

Zexion: That's why we here at Organization XIII wanna wish every one of you a very merry Christma—

Vexen: Hold it right there guys!

Luxord: Vexen, stop interrupting our holiday message.

Vexen: Uh…yeah. Listen guys, you should really know that the holidays can be one of the most offensive times of the year.

Zexion: Offensive? Holidays are awesome! You get tons of Christmas presents and you eat a buncha candy canes!

Vexen: But just think about how exclusionary that statement is to people that don't celebrate Christmas, or to dentists, or to people that use canes!

Zexion: Huh, I never looked at it that way.

Luxord: Oh c'mon. I suppose you want us to chicken out and just say Happy Holidays?

Vexen: Yeah…I don't know. Holidays implies "holy", some people aren't religious at all. Also the word "happy" might be insensitive to people who suffer from depression.

Luxord: What?

Zexion: He's right you know. Each year clinical depression affects millions of Americans.

Vexen: Don't say Americans.

Zexion: Oops! Right, you're right. Sorry.

-Luxord looks at Vexen-

Vexen: What? It's a global platform.

-Xigbar Appears-

Xigbar: What are you knuckle-heads yakin' about? I thought I ordered you to have Yuletide Cheer. I don't see any yules, now get to yulin!

Luxord: The Grinch over there is telling us we can't do the Holiday message.

Xigbar: What in Sam-hill? What idiot told you that? I'll kick him in his cringle! I'll punch him in his Holibush! I'm gonna rip of his Partridge and kick him in the Pear trees!

Luxord: Zexion and Vexen are worrying about OFFENDING people that don't celebrate Christmas.

Vexen: Euh…

Luxord: Ugh… I mean the holidays.

Vexen: S-still kinda..

Luxord: Sigh. The-don't-celebrate-a-special-time-at-the-end-of-the-year. That better?

Zexion: The Aztecs use a different calendar, the end of their year is actually—

Luxord: Oh, c'mon! The Aztecs have been dead for like a billion years!

Xigbar: For one I agree with Luxord. This is total nonsense! This is our show; we can send whatever kinda greeting we want!

Vexen: Ok, let's all just calm down, before somebody gets to festive. Oops…pardon me. I mean, seasonally excited.

Xigbar: That's a buncha Rudolph droppings if you ask me. I'm not scared of offending people! Just watch me go! -looks at screen- Hi, this is Xigbar from Organization XIII and I wanna wish everybody a very merry –screen pops out in front of him and screen goes gray- Hey! Get that thing outta here! –screen goes away- And give us back our color! -color goes back- That's better. As I was saying—

Luxord: Uh, Xigbar, I'd be careful if I were you.

Xigbar: They can't stop the signal. Now, on behalf of everyone from Organization XIII we wanna wish you all out there a very merry-- -disappears-

Luxord: Whoa! What happened? Where'd Xigbar go?

Vexen: I guess they stopped the signal.

Zexion: OK, well, if we can't say happy holidays, then what can we say? Hmm….

Vexen: Just think of something that's in-offensive as possible.

Zexion: What if we just say, "Hi! Hello!"

Vexen: In what language?

Luxord: Sigh…

Zexion: How 'bout, we just send a universal mathematical message, with no implied emotion.

Vexen: Would you send it in hexadecimal?

-Zexion and Luxord look at each other-

Zexion: Yes.

Vexen: OK!

4D 65 72 72 79

58 6D 61 73 21

From Your Friends at:

ORGANIZATION XIII!!

From The Employees at:

ORGANIZATION XIII!!

From The Employees at:

RANDOM HEARTLESS PEOPLE

From The Employees at:

RANDOM PEOPLE


	2. Character Guide!

Organization XIII as…

Organization XIII as…

Red vs. Blue!!

Character Guide

MelodiousNocturneGirl: Ok yeah…now I totally feel like an idiot because I didn't tell you who was who. It'd take a total Halo Nerd to understand who they were. Yes I know that I just insulted many of you but don't get to upset, it happens to the best of us. JK, don't send hate mail. Anyways….here's the character guide. Oh and by the way, I changed who was who in the first chapter. Sorry, I just couldn't see it fitting them. My bad. And I've noticed that there aren't enough girls to take the part, so I just kept Sheila to be Sheila and Namine as sister. If you guys want me to add the other KH characters a.k.a. Riku and Sora, just send me a PM or just put in the review.

Griff – Luxord

Simmons – Zexion

Donut – Marluxia

Sarge – Xigbar

Doc – Vexen

Andy – Saix

Caboose – Demyx

Tucker – Axel

Church – Roxas

Tex – Larxene

Sheila - Sheila

Sister – Namine

O'Malley – Xemnas

Vic – Lexeaus

Lopez – Xaldin


	3. Planning to Fail

Organization XIII as…

Organization XIII as….

Red vs. Blue!!

Planning to Fail

Luxord: Hey Vexen, nobody likes you.

Vexen: What? What are you talking about? Everybody likes me.

Luxord: Yeah, everybody hates you. You don't fit in.

Vexen: Oh? I think I fit in just fine.

Luxord: Really?

Vexen: Yes.

Luxord: OK, then let me ask you this Vexen, what's your Zombie Plan?

Vexen: My what?

Luxord: There's two kinds of people in the world Vexen; those who have a plan prepared for when the zombies take over the earth, and those who don't. We call those last people dinner.

Vexen: Nobody does that!

Luxord: In my Zombie Plan, I'm going to Alaska, because zombies have no body heat. They'll freeze like Corpse-cicles! It's brilliant!

Vexen: Nobody else thinks about stuff like that.

Luxord: Hey Zexion!

Zexion: What?!

Luxord: What's your Zombie Plan?

Zexion: I have two weeks of food stored in my attic. I'll climb up and pull up the ladder with me.

Vexen: What??

Luxord: And what happens at the end of the two weeks?

Zexion: Oh, I'm keeping that to myself. I don't wanna risk you turning into a zombie and knowing what I'm up to.

Vexen: Oh, c'mon!

Zexion: You still doing Alaska?!

Luxord: You know it!

Zexion: You'll never make it Luxord! The major freeways will be choked with stalled cars from people trying to flee the major population centers. It's going to be nothing but a tasty flesh bottle neck.

Luxord: I'm just going to have to take that risk!

Zexion: Good luck to you Luxord!

Luxord: Good luck to you to, Zexion!

Vexen: Are you guys brain damaged?

Xigbar: Hey knuckleheads, what's all the yammerin about?

Vexen: Hey Xigbar, do you have a quote "Zombie Plan" un-quote? –laughs to self-

Xigbar: A Zombie Plan? Of course not!

Vexen: See? I told you—

Xigbar: I have 37 different Zombie Plans!

Luxord: Wow! Now that's preparation! I am seriously impressed Xigbar!

Xigbar: Don't be dirtbag. In 36 of the 37 plans I use your fresh corpse as bait, so I can make my initial escape from the legence of the undead!

Luxord: Well, at least I know there's at least one plan I—

Xigbar: In the 37th plan, I knowingly infect myself with the zombie virus, just so I can devour you!

Vexen: Xigbar, you've got to be pulling my leg.

Xigbar: Why do you think I carry a shotgun with me at all times?! You have to be ready to act on a moments notice! Ya!

Vexen: Guys, with all the problems moaning in the background in the world I can't believe you've been spending this much time thinking about— what's that?

everyone's looking around like 'o…crap….'

Xigbar: Romaroan Beard! The blues have been infected!

blues walking around, moaning and zombie-ish…

Zexion: leaves If anyone needs me, I'll be in the attic!

Luxord: Hello Judo!

Xigbar: Wait Luxord! I need your delicious meat for most of my plans! looks at Vexen Hey there, Vexen, ah, you don't want to give me a hand with something do ya?

Vexen: No…

Xigbar: advances on Vexen Where's your moistness meat?

with the blues

Axel: Hey Roxas, how long do we keep this up?

Roxas: moans When they all go into hiding, grab their flag and run.

Demyx: Brian….I want Brian!

Axel: Demyx, its brains not Brian!

Demyx: Oh! Sorry, I must have read the script wrong! Moaning! Moooooooaaaaaannnning!

Larxene: Shut up you guys! They're going to hear us!

Axel: Hey, Larxene! I bet it's been a while since you had some fresh meat!

Larxene: Up yours.

Axel: Bow Chicka Bow Wooo—uugghhh!


	4. HaloWeen

Organization XIII as…

Red vs. Blue!!

Halo-ween

Zexion (dressed as Demyx): Hi, I'm The Melodious Nocturne Demyx from the popular PS2 game Kingdom Hearts 2. Just kidding, I'm really Zexion, The Cloaked Schemer, but today is Halloween and in order to celebrate that-

Axel (dressed as Demyx also): Sorry I'm late! I had to get my costume on.

Zexion: What the--? You dressed up as Demyx?!

Axel: Of course I did! He's the most popular character! (Demyx fans scream in the background)

Zexion: But I go as him every year!

Axel: And so do I. Yet every year you're surprised when we're wearing the same costume. Why is that?

Zexion: I hope Xigbar didn't dress up as Demyx too.

Xigbar (dressed as Demyx): Of course I did you numbskulls!

Zexion: Xigbar! Why would you do that?

Demyx (dressed like…ummm…Demyx): Umm..I'm not Xigbar, I'm Demyx. Umm…Xigbar is standing behind me.

Xigbar: (appears from behind Demyx) You idiots.

Zexion: Demyx? Even you dressed as yourself?

Demyx: Yeah, I always dress like me. Roxas has to help sometimes but I'm getting better at it.

Axel: That's ridiculous.

Xigbar: I agree Zexion.

Axel: I'm not Zexion.

Xigbar: Who said that?

Zexion: I didn't.

Demyx: I'm so confused!!!

Roxas (as himself, thank god!): Hey Demyx I need to talk…to…(looks at all four Demyx's) I think I should go lie down.

Xigbar: What's wrong with you?

Roxas: Well, I'm either hallucinating or I've died and gone to hell. (leaves)

Zexion: (sighs) This is why we never do a Halloween PSA

Demyx: It's Halloween?! Why didn't anyone say something?!

**Melo: I can't believe I just updated this! It's been almost a year since I have! So yeah I'll be trying to keep up with this more often! ^^**


End file.
